Friendship?

I just really hate it when you're feeling angry/sad/disappointed or whatever, you still have to act like you're happy in front of everybody. I'll just have the sudden urge to cry. What to do? Nothing, just keeping quiet and bear with it. Clench on my fist and force myself not to cry. I think that's the only way, to assure everyone around you that you're completely fine. 

I really have to blog this kind of feelings out.. or i'll feel really bad if i bottle these feelings up inside. I feel really awful right now. I don't know who are my friends, i don't know which is real and which is fake. I can see that almost all of them are only acting to be good with me, but who knows? They might back stab me or something. I think I've blogged about this friendship problem before, in my previous past posts. It's about a secondary 1 girl, coming into our " clique " and then almost all of our relationship starts to become bad and almost many of us quarrel because of her. Just because of ONE girl, that holds no value in this fucking friendship, 7 of us quarrel with each other because of her. What do you think? It's like these quarrels are  unnecessary.

So like, after a few months of quarreling, we finally.. came up with this decision of asking the secondary 1 girl to leave us, so yea.. she did leave. Yes, and like after she left the "clique" everything went back to normal, no quarrels, no fighting, we're almost happy everyday. Aw, most of us were like super happy when the sec1 girl left.

So like.. after 1 month+, lol.. the girl came back again.. and that made me super angry.. I'm not being angry over one small thing y'knw? It's like.. Jo & V promise that we won't talk to her or contact her anymore, but guess whut? Joey & V went to talk to her and..yea they fucking patch and i was like 'wtf?!' so yea.. lol

It's like what's the point of promising something when you can't even like...accomplish it.. you get what i mean.. okay forget it.. It's so hard to explain.. You don't make a promise when you're happy and you don't scold someone when you're very angry.. Or you'll regret it for sure.. in the future.. This kinda things are so fucked up nowadays. What's up with those dramas and everything.. I just wish that everything can stop... i want all these rubbish to stop.. really..